I Have A Complex About Not Having Thumbs

I Have A Complex About Not Having Thumbs

Hi everyone! Thor the Pup here. This is my mom’s blog, but she’s letting me guest post here every once in awhile.

A little bit about me: I’m a one-year-old Pekingese mix (Pomeranian, maybe?), and I’ve been part of the family for about two months now. Mom and Dad don’t know much about my past, except for that I came from New Mexico and lived in Colorado Springs with my foster mom and dad for about a month before Mom and Dad adopted me. My adopted name was Macdonald, but Mom and Dad thought Thor was way cooler. I agree; it makes me feel tough, you know?

Macs are where it’s at. PCs are for peasants.

I love meeting new people and pups, chasing my ball, and snuggling under the blankies near my parents’ feet while they sleep. And MOM. MOM IS LIFE. I’m a little clingy to my mom, but let’s be real; she kind of loves it.

Anywho, Mom said I could guest post here about anything I wanted, but it turns out she’s a liar (MOM I STILL LOVE YOU THOUGH). I wanted to post a scathing editorial on the Kavanaugh hearings, but Mom said that might be a little heavy for my first post, so instead I’m writing about something that really gets my hackles up: my thumbs, or lack thereof.

I love my parents, but for some reason they find it absolutely hilarious to make jokes about how I don’t have thumbs. They’re always saying stuff like “Thor would help make dinner, but he doesn’t have thumbs” or “Thor, folding laundry is only for people with thumbs.” Stuff like that.

You know, I never thought about not having thumbs until they pointed it out. I can do plenty of things with my paws, like grab my ball…and that’s all I can think of, but whatever. That’s all I felt the need to do, until Mom and Dad pointed out all the things I CAN’T do. Now I’m all insecure about my thumb-less paws.

How am I supposed to bake a soufflé or handwrite a letter or play UNO?? I can’t! It really limits my ability to learn new hobbies other than ball-chasing and licking my rear. And being constantly reminded of the fact that I don’t have thumbs makes me worried that I’m a dog (GASP) and not a people like Mom and Dad always act like I am.

Mom and Dad are great, but I’m gonna need them to lay off the no-thumbs jokes before I lose it.

I have an idea!! Every time you see my mom, will you make fun of her for not having a tail? I think that’ll show her. Meanwhile, I’m gonna learn how to bake a soufflé sans thumbs. Let me know if you have tips.

With Lots of Treats,

Thor the Dog

PS – Guys I have my own Insta!! You can follow me at @smalldogthor.